New York New York...i gotta get outta here and get to New York., and be part of the New York jazz scene but you know the reality of it has hit me a few times. It's ridiculously expensive to go live in New York. I thought well maybe something will work out if i get there. I want to be part of a different scene and environment where I am more active.

There are benefits to being a jazz musician and living in New York for sure. But many disadvantages too. It's not like its that much better than say Denver...there's just 20 times more people and and maybe 20-30 more clubs and venues. But a lot of jazz musicians are probably playing gigs along the east coast in general and not just in New York. There's a lot of people that live in New York but not necessarily getting work in New York. Then again I know lots of jazz musician here in Colorado that have gotten chances to perform in New York and well they live here in Colorado. So whats the big fuss. Why move to a hell hole that's unaffordable and unsustainable. Why not just live here play here and just aim to get a gig in New York every now and then.

The ultimate goal for 2011 is to go into the recording studio but that seems a far off and lofty goal when I don't have money at all.It seems like the thing to do when there are so many other jazz musicians who have recorded CDs and sell them. The reality is the money they spent to produce such CDs go into a black hole. I hear all to often "I spent ____(somewhere in the thousands) to make this CD and I only sold 50 copies."

Hey their CDs get played on the local radio station at least, is that what really counts. Would I be happy with recording my own original music and putting it out there into the world. Even if no one listens to it or buys it but 20 people. It should be looked upon as an investment. Nothing gained nothing ventured. Looking at the bigger picture I'm afraid of what such an investment won't bring on return. I'm not making any kind of money myself right now. How am i supposed to support my fellow musicians if all I have is $3 to my name. What am I working for. At this rate all i can hope for is some menial job paying minimum wage. When i worked at McDonald's i didn't make a lot of money and wasn't even able to support myself. Being a band leader i think why am i working my ass off to pay your rent. The reality is being a band leader I have to find a way to pay the musicians. There aren't many gigs being offered that pay. I don't get many gigs as a sideman so I thought the work around that was to create your own work. Be the master of your own destiny. That didn't turn out so well. I feel like i have to come up with a new dream and plan for 2011