Today an interesting conversation arose between my best friends and I. It seemed we are all not always completely trusting/or suporitve of each other.
I love my friends to death and but have to wonder if your friends are as supportive as you sometime wish. Do we always express our selves and feelings in the best of ways when we truely care?.
We want to hear something positive from the special people in our lives. Perhaps hearing it from those people matters to us much is just as important as being listened to. It's not that you have to do some thing for or to help your friend but listen to them and acknowledge they feel the way that they do.
Say the most horrible thing or event happened to you and imeadiatly you think to go to your best friend that is the least judgemental. Sure not everyone always reacts the way you want. And no things may be said which are not always the most pleasing but that
I just want someone to talk to and listen sometimes. Sometimes you just have questions about people, sex, love, just life in general and wish I could be as open with my friends as I like. I can't go to them and just say what is on my mind or tell them how I'm feeling for fear of being judged, ignored, or punished..
But I so much want to. At the same time I don't want to see my friends hold in anything that will eat them alive. I hope they can be open and talk to me about anything or think I'm not to judgemental
Am I strong person because I keep going on? Looking back II wonder why am I still here sometimes after the crap I've gone through. Perhaps most of it was emotional but to me it seemed like the end. I wonder how do I get up and go to work or leave my house everyday? But what is strength? Is it simply the ability to endure?
How can you quantify this quality in people. Are jews strong people for enduring the holocaust? Does it come from being just a certain group/class of people like African American, being transgendered, or spat on, kicked down and trampled on? Once you define strength in context then just in contrast what is weakness?
On an individual basis does the ability to endure in the face of adversity. Think of all the examples of people like Barack Obama running for president, Dr. Martin Luther King struggle for civil rights, Jesus Christ spreading the word about the
Sometimes we get upset when we don't get the things that we want in life.
Sometimes feel as if do we ask for more out of life than we deserve? Everyone deserves happiness and love. But I hate for anyone to tell me what I can and can't do. Who I can and can not be?
"Why do we fall?... So we can pick ourselves up again"
Deja Vu...seems I never make much progress forwards, or sideways as much as just circular. Here I am a year later from when I applied for an Assistant Manager position at the Spirit Halloween store! Things didn't work out with my schedule and all so I didn't do it last here but here I am in need of a different job.
I'm at a loss as to where to apply for a job now I mean I could fill out applications for all the same retail, grocery stores and resturants I have been applying to for the past 5 years. Before it was about finding a job that is sustaining where I can make enough money to go back to school and finish my degree. I remember one day at Wal-mart i was determined to go back to school because I hated working in retail so much. I told myself I made up my mind right then and there I was going to get my Masters Degree. Of course things haven't gone according to plan.
The Irony out of it all I need a better job to go to school to get a better job. Except I'm not quallified for any specific or fancy job. I think i've been searching for some form of validation/approval through work that I'm not going to get. The question is am I supposed to just endure the job I have now.The question i have to ask myself...am I doing good enough or can I do better?
I'm starting a new job yesterday at Harkins Theatre and it means alot of changes in my life. Before any time that I got a job I was always excited This time around I'm not as excited...maybe because I've been through the ups and downs of gettings a "new job" before. I'm back to being terrified...what will this job do to me?. What will it mean for my future
Some of my goals here and there that were accomplished because of being employed and some that were not. Before I just needed a job that was sustaining where I could make enough money to go to school and learn a skill, get a degree or something to get a better job. Irony I always needed a better job to go to school to get a better job than I can get now. Or to pay for hormones, for my car...or to potentially move out.
I always worry about fitting in, of course when I went to apply I saw a the most flamming gay guy behind the desk at Customer Service and I thought to myself...hell if he works here and is accepted than I have to work here. Everything must of worked out cause I got hired myself..
Everyone was nice to me yesterday at Orientation so maybe it won't be so bad...but then again all the people I will be working with are 17 years old or so and a much more diverse workforce/clientelle than in the suburbs.. Yeah usually I expect it to be hostile enviorment in some way or form from either co-workers or customers. Maybe thats just me always be defensive. I was told durring orientation that its a "stress free and no tolerance of violence, harrasment or intimidation in the work place".